I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
