can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
