I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
