Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
