i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
