I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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