He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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