I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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