What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
My ass is underappreciated
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
