Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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