Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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