i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
wow bdsm is so cute
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
