Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
She told me I should be a condom model.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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