So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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