...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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