Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
