is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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