Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Swine flu is the new snow day.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
