Are we in a gay sports bar?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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