what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
