A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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