worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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