she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
