I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
