I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I think my moral compass just broke
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
