i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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