Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
His nipple licking is glorious
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