it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
