i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
