He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
