And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
