I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
All the doctor said was why
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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