It's Friday. Sex?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
