the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Randomize
