Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
