I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Randomize
