should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
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