I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
found the other keg... it's in the tree
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
