After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
