Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
