Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
he puts the penis in happiness.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
