I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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