I threw up into my coffee this morning.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
