garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
