it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
