I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Randomize
