He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
