is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
