3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
My brain says no but my pants say off.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
