why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
This is classic penis vs brain.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
