Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
